Aligning your ambition with your capacity with Alisha Robertson

Akua: If you are a business owner that is finding yourself wanting to be successful and also struggling to rest, then I need you to stop what it is that you’re doing and tune in today’s episode. Alicia Robertson, who is a writer, creator, and rest advocate talks about how we as business owners can strive for success without burning ourselves out.

She also walks us through her own business journey and the things she had to let go of in order to be successful. And she walks us through how we can get a deeper understanding of what our actual capacity is and how we can communicate that. This conversation is so needed. And trust me when I say that you are going to love this episode and let’s get into it.

Hey everyone, this is your host Akua Kanadu and you’re listening to the independent business podcast. More people than ever are working for themselves and building profitable businesses in the process. So on this show, I get to sit down with some of the most influential authors, entrepreneurs. and creators to break down the science of self made success so that you can achieve it too.

Hello, Alicia. How are we

Alisha: doing? Hi, I’m doing well. Thank you for so much for having me.

Akua: I know. I am so excited for you to be here because I think that so many of us as business owners are very high achieving. I know I am. And I think we need to have a really honest conversation about being high achievers and how to figure out success and rest and all of that.

And I think this is a perfect time, especially within the new year. So thank you so much. So much. I’m excited. Yeah,

Alisha: of course. This is like my favorite topic to dig into. So I’m excited,

Akua: which is why you’re here. Cause I knew you would deliver. So, um, I am really curious to know about your journey of how you’ve really dealt with like the, I feel like it’s like a clash, like a battle of like wanting to succeed.

versus the need to rest. Like, what did that internal battle look like for you?

Alisha: Yeah. So for me, it started shortly after I had my daughter. Well, when I really noticed it, it was shortly after I had my daughter. I have been an entrepreneur in some capacity for over 10 years now. And I Started out thinking that it was the norm to always be exhausted and tired.

Like I was listening to like all of the quote unquote marketing bros and they were like, sleep when you’re dead. If you really want it, you’ll, you know, you’ll go for, you’ll go hard. And I, I, I don’t have an, I didn’t at the time have any entrepreneurs around me to tell me any different. So I thought that’s what.

It looks like so prior to having my daughter, I spent years just flowing in and out of burnout because I really thought it was the norm. And it wasn’t until I had heard that I realized that one. I have a human to take care of now. I, I literally cannot operate like this anymore. Um, I also really struggled with like postpartum depression and I’m like, I don’t have the capacity any longer to go through these like big dibs and dips and ebbs and flows, like mentally of how my business was, my, how my business was draining me.

So it really took me some time of like stepping back and saying, wait, I don’t think the way I’ve been running my business has been healthy. I don’t feel healthy. I’m actually exhausted. Um, so I took some time off of entrepreneurship. I actually took an entire year off and I had to unlearn literally everything that I was taught about it, because.

That was all I knew. So like I went to therapy, I got a job, I really took some time to like dismantle everything I thought I knew about entrepreneurship. And it was really hard for me too, because so much of my identity was built around being like this hustler and this go getter and someone who was super ambitious and.

How do you deal with that now when you realize that everything you have been taught feels like a big lie, that you no longer can Be that person that you thought you were always going to be. So it was a lot of just redefining what success looked like for me, a lot of unlearning and also just a lot of figuring out who I was outside of.

Akua: Oh my gosh, there is so much to unpack in that because I literally just saw, um, a Instagram post from, do you know who Danielle Bayer Jackson is? She’s like the friendship coach. Uh, yeah, I think I’ve heard of her. Yeah. Yeah. So she created an Instagram post the other day and she’s been on the show before talking about friendships, but she would say, um, with high achieving women.

And why high achieving women? Like. So I know people live in, like, Than they used to in the past That’s true It’s like To really find a way To have a conversation To be able to Find and connect Around me Number one, Danielle, please. I’m eating like we don’t have to, you know what I mean? I was like, drag me.

Don’t drag me. I’m trying to have a meal in peace. And you come here with this disrespect. Like there was that. And then I had to process through and I was like, damn, she’s talking about me. Like, you know what I mean? And like, you know, and like, even just now, so I love that you said that I’m like, we having to get to know yourself outside of being an entrepreneur.

I feel like a lot of A lot of us and like me included even currently right now, my whole identity is wrapped up in being a business owner. All a good chunk of my friends are business owners. I don’t even have a lot of, like, I have more friends now that are business owners than I do of just like, Regular friends.

Alisha: Yeah. Yeah.

Akua: So for you, what did that, some of that unlearning look like? What did that, like you getting to know yourself outside of Alicia, the entrepreneur, like, what did that look like for you?

Alisha: Yeah. So therapy, lots of therapy. Yeah. Highly recommend, but it really helped me to kind of peel back the layers of like, okay, Your hobby is your business.

Your career is your business. Your start to conversations is about business. Like everything is built around it. So let’s peel back the layers of like, who would you be or what would you do if entrepreneurship wasn’t there? If entrepreneurship wasn’t a factor and through like a lot of just asking myself questions, it was almost like dating myself, like.

What is it that I really want? Like when I retire, what, what is it that, what is it going to be that like fulfills my life? What am I going to enjoy doing? What do I, where do I see myself when entrepreneurship is no longer a thing? Because I don’t know about y’all, but like, I don’t want to be 95 still.

Working in my business. So it was a lot of, yeah, it was a lot of asking myself questions and take, I actually would take myself out and walk around and like, just think through these things of like, okay, who are you? What do you really enjoy? So I would ask myself, okay, when I was a kid, what did I enjoy doing and how can I like incorporate more of that into my life?

And for me, I realized I’m really curious. I love to learn new things. And for a long time, I would be curious and learn new things through the lens of entrepreneurship. But it’s like, no girl, you can have hobbies. You can create art that has no expectation of being sold because you’re terrible at it, but it’s fun.

You can listen to podcasts that don’t aren’t always just about building a business. You can play, you can find things that bring you joy. Like, I. Love quiet time. Like I have, I found like this new respect for enjoying time with myself and not feeling like I always have to be tinkering or on my laptop or answering emails or things like that.

So it was a lot of. One, asking myself questions, going back through, dating myself, getting to know who I am again, thinking about what little seven, eight year old Alicia would love to do when thinking about, like, what I used to say I wanted to be when I was older. And, and then also really using therapy as a way to dig deep into, okay, why do you believe that You don’t have an identity outside of entrepreneurship.

Like what are the factors that led you to believing that you always have to be doing something that is going to generate revenue? Why the only way you can find joy is through money or through building something new. So like really digging deep into like scarcity mindset and like different ways that I was, You know, I was raised and how different disappointments in my past have really shaped and molded me into like this person who feels like I have to work all the time.

If I don’t work, I’m not going to eat. I’m going to fail. Everything is going to burn down. And being able to sit back and say, no. That is all a lie. It is actually anxiety that is just talking to you. So let’s sit back and think about, okay, realistically, if I take a day off of work, what’s, what’s the worst that could happen?

What? I’m well rested? Okay, great. Great. Great. Great. If you say no to this opportunity, what’s the worst that could happen? You get to say yes to something that you would rather do, you know, anyway. So it’s like a lot of just peeling back the layers of like, Who is Alicia if Entrepreneurship wasn’t a factor.

And then digging deep into what led me here in the first place.

Akua: Yeah, I love that. And I think that’s a such, I say it all the time that we as human beings, we’re so multifaceted. So when people try to separate of like business and personal businesses, personal, right? Like the way you show up in your business absolutely is personal because the way you have viewed the world, your experiences, what you walk through is So I think a lot of the times when you’re like, why am I working, but it’s truly a more personal, deeper reason that happened in your past that really shaped you.

And so I love that you did a lot of that deep thinking and awareness and really just like deconstructing because I think that’s just so valuable, um, information that you’re taking with you. Taking with you to really change the game of how you want to run your business because you want to be sustainable.

And I think there’s a lot of us, like even right now, I’m in a busier season of launching my storytelling course, like getting ready to do that. And I’m noticing that I’m in a busier season, but I have had to, cause my ass was knocked out. Like I got sick. I got, and it was like, I didn’t catch it. It was truly, I was pulling all nighters.

You know what I mean? Yeah. And it was, and my body was like, psych. And so I quickly realized that there is no way, like, My body has to be number one. Otherwise I can’t show up on this show. I can’t do the things that I want to do. And so like, even now I’ve like, I’ve lightened the load. I’ve had to lighten it up even more of being like, okay, what can I automate?

And what can I delegate? Um, cause it’s just, it’s not realistic, but it’s not an easy thing to do. It’s not because I am the type of person that’s like, I feel like I have to work constantly, like if I’m not working. And I’m not making money. It’s the same thing. And so it’s like, I’m, I’m working through that myself.

And I think there’s so many of us that are like that, especially in those busier seasons. And so I think it’s like, it’s great to see where you’re at and also to have like putting in the work to like actually, um, take care of yourself. So thank you so much for sharing that. Thank

Alisha: you.

Akua: I’m really, you know, we often face like fears and doubts and just moment of uncertainties as business owners.

Has it like, where do you think that really ultimately comes from and how has it popped up in a way for you that’s really been surprising for you as like you’ve thought about your own business as, uh, your own journey as a business owner?

Alisha: Yeah, so I think fear and doubt. A lot of that is stemmed from one, that FOMO that we feel, like the fear of missing out, it’s like, like we go, like we just mentioned, it’s like, if I don’t work, then I’m not going to make money and then I’m not going to have this opportunity.

And it’s like, you don’t even know. What, what is coming tomorrow? So it’s that fear of missing out that is kind of taken away from what you’re, what you should be focusing on today. And then also a lot of that fear and doubt that we experience, I think comes from not really having a clear understanding or a clear vision of what we want.

As far as success goes, it’s so easy to get wrapped up in what everyone else is doing and all the accomplishments that everyone else has gained and all these new opportunities that are around us that we kind of forget that like. Maybe I don’t even want those things. Or maybe that thing that other person has doesn’t even align with like my mission or my goals or like my core values.

So we consume so much of other people’s wins and like, don’t get me wrong. It is great to see what others are doing. It is great to congratulate other people. I’m not saying like you need to block off your view from everyone, but. I believe that we as entrepreneurs need to get better at being able to congratulate someone for what they did.

And then sitting here and saying, that’s great that they did that. But maybe that is not for me. Maybe that is that that doesn’t have to be something that I achieved to just because they have succeeded at it. So being very, very clear at like, what does success look like for me? And I’m talking so clear to the point where if you’re someone who’s seeing everyone’s successes and things around you, you’re like, great, you got it, girl, you can do this.

But like, I am so focused on my own thing. I don’t have time to like let that kind of infiltrate my own brain. So like that eliminates a lot of that fear, a lot of that fear of missing out a lot of that doubt. And Also too, I feel like being very clear on what it is that you want also helps to eliminate a lot of that potential for burnout and exhaustion because you’re focused on your thing and you’re not focused on your thing plus everybody else’s thing.

We don’t have the capacity just naturally to try to achieve our goals and then everyone else’s goals as well. So if you’re very clear on what it is that you want, it eliminates that doubt because it’s like, I know what I want. Yeah. I know what I’m going after. I know that these are my goals. These are my aspirations.

This is what I ultimately want to be or want to do. And then it eliminates any of that fear of, well, I don’t know if I could do that just because they did it. Or I don’t know if I could be, you know, Featured on that thing or launch that product just because they did it, because that’s not even, that’s not even what you were meant to do.

It’s not even what you’re planning to do. So yes, definitely getting over that, like fear of missing out, but then getting so, so clear of what it is that you want. And that thing can change over time, like we’re human, but just always staying focused on What it is that you want. And like down to the point where even for myself, I’ve recently gotten really into bullet journaling.

Yeah. So I have like this vision that I’ve kind of like created and mapped out and I’ve put it in every single journal that I have, because I want to know when I sit down to plan out my day, when I sit down to like write out my ideas, I want. What I’m working on to be at the forefront, even in like my ClickUp dashboard, I have it.

So like when I’m knocking off like tasks, I want to make sure that whatever it is that I’m doing, my own vision is what is driving me and not everyone else’s.

Akua: Yes. I think, I love that you brought that up because I think it’s, we don’t realize how we easily get swayed, um, on the things that we’re consuming.

And I’ve noticed you like in my business, like whenever I’m doing something that is new, right, or I want to launch something new or something that I have never done before, you are much more sensitive to things, um, and how you receive things. So when I know like I’m getting ready to launch something, um, Like even right now with my storytelling course, like I, I mute people left and right because I’m very sensitive and I’m like, I don’t want to look at people.

I don’t want to compare, like I want what I’m creating to be from me, from the heart, from a place of service. Like I want to feel so confident in what I’m creating. Right. So like, I think I love that what you said that like, how do we stay grounded? How do you have like your vision of like where it’s, where you’re consistently seeing to remind you.

And I think that’s so, so smart because you, you’ll be like, yep, I remember. And then you’re scrolling and you forget.

Alisha: It goes out the window. It goes out the window. It has not

Akua: absorbed. So it’s like, what are the ways that you can consistently, like, whether it’s like a sticky note on your mirror, like what are ways that you were constantly seeing what your vision is?

So you don’t lose sight of that because it is, it’s so easy. You see other people’s success and you’re like, well, maybe I should try that instead because it worked for them, but they got a different audience. They’re in a different stage of business than you are. Right. You don’t know all of the other circumstances with why they decided to go that route.

But like, all we see are the highlight reels, the accolades, and we’re like, and you know, and a question I want to add on to is as well is like for me, and I think there’s other people like how I struggle, right? Because I’m like, I’m not, And this is me being a high achiever. I am people.

Alisha: Not

Akua: today. Well, it’s not happening right now.

We can work on it together. I was like, Oh, it’s not happening today. But you know, um, you know, I think, uh, cause I’m like, you know, I’m not where I want to be yet,

Alisha: but

Akua: so it’s like, that’s why for me, I’m like, no, I gotta, I gotta do, I gotta do one more task. I gotta do it one more time, you know? And, um, That’s not helpful.

So I guess like for business owners that are like, okay, I hear what you’re saying and like for me i’m gonna write like I do i’ve been finding more ways to like really regulate My nervous system and like really think to myself of like what’s for you can’t pass you and it’s all in timing But it’s not easy.

And so I guess like for Like what advice do you have for business owners that are like, okay, I hear you but like i’m not where I want to be And I want to get to it now. You know what I mean? Like, what are, like, what advice do you have?

Alisha: Ooh, so I would say first off, you have time. Like, I, I know we, no one knows what tomorrow holds or the next day will hold, but you have time.

You piling it all into this one day is going to do nothing but leave you burnt out for tomorrow. So like, What’s the point of doing all of these things today if tomorrow you’re so tired you can’t get out of bed and you can’t do anything, right? So like you, you have to remember that you have to You have time and it is so much better for you to focus on doing one thing really really well versus trying to Add in all of these like tasks just to say that you checked off 10 things today Like if you if if you are piling on 12 different tasks into your day and you’re honestly half ass in all of them.

Is that really going to help you to grow your business and get it to where you want it to be? Probably not. Right. But if you take one or maybe two tasks and say, okay, I am really going to like think this through. I am going to take my time with it. I am going to really flesh it out. I’m going to implement it.

Great. That is going to have a greater impact on your business than. Trying to knock off all of these like vanity tasks, just so that your planner looks great with all of these like check marks, all of these like highlights, like you, and you have time to get the things that you need done. And I just think it’s just so much more important for you to focus on.

Okay. What is this one task that’s really going to move the needle in my business, or that’s really going to make a difference in. My business and let me like really focus on that. And like, even if it doesn’t take you an entire eight hours to do it, just saying like, okay, what if I did take an extra 15 minutes to like read over that blog post that I created or take an extra 10 minutes to make sure that like the audio is actually working throughout my entire YouTube video, just those little steps.

I feel like those little details are what. really make a difference in how we grow our business versus just saying, I have 20 things on my to do list. I’m going to do all of them. And then like, you got typos and your call to action buttons don’t work or you’re exhausted and you’re tired. And I tell entrepreneurs all the time, like the best business strategy you can have is rest.

Because you come into the next day, you come into your next, like, work stint, feeling a lot lighter. You’ve, you’re a lot more well rested. You have a clearer mind. You’re not overwhelmed. You can like make great educational, like decisions based on, you know, like real measurements in your business and where you want to go versus coming into your business, exhausted, tired, and you can’t even form a sentence because you’re so burnt out.

So, yeah. So focusing on like. Slow it down. Like it’s okay. I know, again, the internet makes us feel like everyone is moving at hyper speed. And I will say, if you feel like an entrepreneur that you’re working or that you’re looking at is moving that fast, more than likely they have a team. They are not doing all of those things on their own, or two, they are just as burnt out as you are.

They’re just not telling you that, right. And that is just not something that we should achieve too. Again, we don’t know what’s really going on. Behind the screen of many people’s businesses. So like, take your time, slow down, know that you do have time, like don’t procrastinate, don’t fall into procrastination, of course, but take your time, take those extra 10 minutes to make sure that what you’re putting out into the world is something that you can actually be proud of and watch how that grows your business significantly more.

Then piling on 12 extra tasks just for the sake that just the sake of saying that you were busy, you know?

Akua: Yes. Oh my gosh. I love that so much. And I definitely have been this past year. Like that was like one of the major, uh, strategies I’ve been implementing in my business. Um, is focusing on more revenue generating tasks because I, you know, and doing the podcast full time and then I’m still managing my business.

And it was just like a lot of grieving. I brought this up several times on the show where it’s like grieving, not in a bad way, but it’s like, I thought things were going to be this way and they’re no longer so I have to move completely differently and I have to be a completely different person than I was.

At the time, like when I decided to be, like, when I was like, okay, let’s do this, I’ll be host of the show. You know what I mean? Like, I’m a totally different person now. And so it, that was, that was hard. And like, but then like narrowing down, cause I used to, I used to have the vanity task that just made you feel really good about yourself.

Alisha: Yeah. It’s like the dopamine. It’s a dopamine thing.

Akua: But then when you’re not making money. That don’t mean no hit no more, trust. No, now you just said it. So now TAS and I was putting off. I was like, I gotta do it. Like, you know what I mean? Right. But all that to say is, right, like I love that. Like I love how you like take that extra time.

Because it’s true, like I, so many times if I do finish a task early, I’m like, okay, great, I’m done next one. Even now as I’m focusing, even now as I have less tasks, but I now also too, I’m trying to be much more intentional with how much time things take because I’m also not fully aware that’s ended up like with me staying up late.

But I think like even too of like being aware of how you work and your capacity just in general, within a task, because when you were going to a task, you, you give a lot, like it takes a lot out of you. And so really. Getting to know yourself as well of like how you work. Like when are you most productive, you know, stuff like that.

Instead of like trying to like force yourself. Like I am not a morning person. I have tried, I have tried getting up at five, 6 a. m. I have tried. I can’t. And I haven’t said that about myself. Like I am very productive in the, like. early afternoon into the early, like into the evening. That’s when I get my most work done.

And so, but that’s what I said about myself and I’ve built things around that. Yeah. So I can be my best self, but it was all that just to say, just to add to that. But what you also shared though, is really, really good feedback of like taking that extra couple of minutes. Cause I definitely don’t do that.

And it’s true. Like that just adds to the higher quality of work that you’re doing. And when you’re producing that high quality, you’re deepening the relationship with your audience. You’re building a deeper community. And that’s going to take you way further than just moving on to the next task. And you got all these mistakes and, and things everywhere.

So I, that is such, such good advice. Yeah.

Alisha: You want to go deeper and not wider and now wider. Yeah. Yes. I

Akua: love that. And so what’s one habit or belief that you have had to let completely let go of to really transition from surviving as an entrepreneur to like thriving and doing really well? Absolutely.

Yeah. Absolutely.

Alisha: Oh, can I give you two? Yes. Okay. So one, I had to stop believing that I had to earn rest. Rest, I used to tell myself, okay, if I get through these six tasks today, I can go lay down and like chill out and do whatever I want to do. And it never worked out like that. After those six tasks, I would add on something else and then something else and the next thing you know, I’m like up at the crack of dawn with like bright red eyes because I’m exhausted.

Right? Like rest isn’t something that you have to earn. It’s your birthright. It’s an essential part of you as a, you know, running a successful business. And without it, you’re not going to be the person or the business owner that you want to be. So I really had to shift my mindset from believing that rest was this shiny reward at the end of the day for doing everything that I said I was going to do.

And for me, that really took implementing something that I call the me hour. into my day. So it’s like no matter what I have going on, no matter how many tasks I have to do, I am going to take that hour out for myself to make sure that I’m getting that rest in. It’s, it’s on my to do list the same way checking your email is or showing up for an event or writing out, you know, a newsletter.

Um, and then the second thing that I really had to remember is that rest isn’t lazy. Um, I grew up with, Incredible women who were hardworking, who I very rarely saw make rest a priority. And I remember as a kid, like not doing anything and just chilling out, be told like, don’t be lazy, like, get up, do something like you should be moving, doing something.

And like, that was just kind of like ingrained in me. So I had to really learn that like, rest isn’t lazy. You’re tired. Your body needs to rest. Even Jesus took a break. Like you need to rest. You need to break. You need to take a break. You need to take care of yourself. Or if not, you’re going to burn out.

You’re going to become. Just like those women that you saw growing up, you’re going to become just like those entrepreneurs who are bajillionaires, who are so unhappy with their life because they are tired and they’ve spent so much time building these businesses that they don’t even like, you know, so like you rest is not lazy.

Like you, you need it in order to become the person that you want to be, whether you are an entrepreneur or working a nine to five or a stay at home mom, or whatever Whatever, whatever the case may be, you need that time to yourself. It is not lazy for you to say, no, I need a 15 minute break. I need my hour break.

And you also just have to remember too, that like you are deserving of rest, regardless of how many tasks you complete within a day.

Akua: Yes. Oh my gosh. I love that. Because that’s, you know, it’s capitalism essentially. Right? Oh yeah. It’s like always having to be always producing, producing, producing. And we as a society, I think, you know, and I think us as millennials, like we’ve had to heavily deconstruct it where we kind of, cause you know, it was hustle, hustle culture, even building your business.

And I think now a lot of business owners who I’ve seen in the industry who were talking about hustle culture, now they, you know, they rest in honey and they rest in heart. Exactly, exactly, you know, they’re taking their now, you know what I mean? And I think for me, I even have the misconception that like, okay, well, they worked really hard at the beginning to build the life that they had.

So then they get to rest. Like, that’s what I have been currently thinking. And I like really need to shift of like, no, like, And I do like, I’ve definitely have habits that have gotten a lot better, like a lot stronger, but in other areas, like, no, I still need to work on that. So I just love that you said it, like rest is resistance.

Rest is your birthright, you know? And like, that is something that we are all owed. And so like, there’s no shame in resting, like, and it’s no matter. And I, I also want to say in terms of resting, It’s not easy to rest. That’s something too. I am learning. Like I realized that when I am resting and I’m not doing anything, my anxiety is still through the roof.

So now I’m actually doing like, um, nervous system regulation or whatever, like just doing like, I obviously did tapping, but even longer exercises, like I will literally like, Hop in the shower, like cold and do like a cold, like, I don’t have like a cold plunge, but you know, like what I mean, or like, um, deep breathing exercises, any way to keep me calm, like neutral, like not experiencing just peace.

That’s what it means. It’s like, if you’re not experienced that and you’re sitting there doing like, if you’re sitting there doing nothing, but your nervous system is like. Always go revved up. You’re not resting. That’s something I’ve learned. I’m like, I’m still not resting. Cause I would do that. And I would still wake up tired.

I’d be like, why am I still exhausted? It’s because I’m truly like my cortisol levels are high. I’m running off of emotion. Like my body just feels like my mind knows I need to rest with my body. Isn’t feeling it. And so I’ve been trying to work on ways for my body to catch up with my mind. And so that’s something too, that I think we don’t talk about it now.

Alisha: Yes. Yes. You have to learn how to like, Bring your entire system into like down mode. Like, how do I stop overthinking, stop the influx of thoughts, but also like, like you said, like calm my entire nervous system down to the point where my muscles, like deep down, everything just feels relaxed. By the way, one of my favorite ways to do that is a body scan meditation.

Oh, it is. It’s incredible. Especially if you’re someone who you find that you’re like nervous system is like really heightened at nighttime when you’re trying to go to bed and like the mind is always going. A body scan meditation is going to be great for that because it literally helps you to focus on every muscle in your body and like just calming each muscle and like, so your brain stops because you’re focusing on like relaxing your shoulders and relaxing your fingers and your knees, but then your body also relaxes too.

And it’s, I go to sleep immediately after every single time. Oh my gosh. Little, little tip.

Akua: Little tip. Yes. Little tip. Oh my gosh. I love that. No, this is all like super, super helpful. And, you know. I would love to hear from you, as you’ve been in the journey for 10 years, is what is one thing about you like that has made you a better entrepreneur that really surprised you?

Alisha: Oh, taking, uh, like one full day off for like nothing, for like myself, again, like I, I, I used to think that again, I had to work 24 hours a day and Obviously, I end up becoming, you know, extremely burnt out. And as someone who also deals with, like, anxiety and depression, like, it just was not good for me. And I’ve learned that I need one day of like a reset.

So typically my days, um, are either on Sunday or Monday. Um, I have a five year old, so it depends on her schedule, of course. Um, but Sunday or Monday is when I like take my reset day. So I will do. No more than just my me hour. I will do like a deeper workout. I will take longer to like really work on some mindfulness.

I will kind of tidy up my space so that I don’t feel like clutter is something that like really agitates me. I will like, uh, open up a notebook and I put pen to paper and brain dump, literally. Everything that is in my head and having that day of like a mental kind of physical reset really sets me up for like Tuesday through Sunday or whenever, you know, whenever I have to like work and really be involved in things.

And I was really hesitant at first because it’s like, girl, it’s Monday. My daughter is at school for at least six, seven hours. I should be doing something with this mom. But it’s like, no, you are doing something. You are actually being productive. You are getting all of those ideas out of your head. All those questions out of your head.

You’re taking deeper care of your body. Um, I also will schedule like appointments, no doctor’s appointments and things like that on that day. So it’s like, you really are fully focusing on yourself and it doesn’t feel productive again, because. We’re not highlighting and checking off all of these business tasks, but it is productive because you’re taking better care of yourself.

And if I can use that one day to really reset and clear my mind and just kind of hype myself a little bit up, you know, the rest of the week goes so much smoother than when I don’t have that day. And actually, if I don’t have that day, I’m frazzled, I’m a little irritated, I’m frustrated, and I’m like, I’m, I’m missing something.

And that’s because my mind and body has been going. Going, going, going for like a week straight. I haven’t given myself time to just start over. So that has probably been the most surprising change that I’ve made to this journey that has made like a huge difference.

Akua: Oh my gosh. I love that. And yes, I think that is such, cause I know a lot of business owners too.

Um, not a lot. Well, some of them, they’ll do like a Sabbath, like Friday. I have one of friends, hers is Friday and like, she’s not on her phone. Her phone is completely blocked off. Like she does not respond to anybody, doesn’t look at social media, nothing. And she will only do tasks that like bring her joy, whether that’s reading a book or taking her dog for a walk and stuff like that.

And she said to like, that has made such a big, big difference. For her and her business like where because again, I think you’re showing, you know, you’re showing up as a better version of you that allows you also the space to be more creative, be more innovative when you’re more centered and aligned. And so I, I love that.

I’m so curious to know about you with like, Now, you know, you have all these practices, just, you know, that like you feel more aligned, like you’re building a business that truly works for you. And also too, where you’re, you get to rest, you get to do the things that bring you joy and all of that. I’m so curious to know, like with your business stuff, like what’s next for you?

Like what, what are you working on in the upcoming new year?

Alisha: Yeah, so I introduced, um, like a framework called the me hour earlier in 2024, which is just like a simple framework that helps entrepreneurs to like make rest a daily priority and put it on your to do list as if it is a priority. Um, but one of the things I’m also excited about in the future, um, hopefully coming up early 2025 is something called the capacity calculator.

I recognize with entrepreneurs, when we sit down to plan the week, we are piling on everything to do list everything. We’re like, I’m going to shoot for the moon, the stars. Like I am going to, you know, create world peace all in these seven days. And it’s like, no, but it’s like, Baby, you, you, that’s great, but you can’t.

So I’m working on something called the capacity calculator, where the goal is you sit down on Sunday before you plan out your week and you answer kind of like this quiz of like how you’re feeling, how you’re doing, like kind of just assessing yourself and your mind. And at the end, it lets you know if you have low, medium or high.

capacity. And based on your capacity, it’s going to show you how you need to structure your week, what you need to say no to, and how you can, you know, like, begin to prioritize different self care tips based on your capacity. And it’s my goal that It will be a tool that people can not only use like every week, like combine it into their planning routine, but it will also help eliminate a lot of that burnout that we cause on our sales.

Um, I believe the biggest boundary that entrepreneurs need to make is the boundary on our sales, like our own work. And, um, it’s my hope that this kind of quiz will help. Help you to place those boundaries around yourself so that burnout isn’t inevitable. Like you don’t have to hit burnout in order to be a successful entrepreneur.

So that is like my, one of my big goals for, you know, upcoming year.

Akua: Please have that come out immediately because that is me. I would literally dog pile all my tasks. Then I’m pissed when I look at the day and I only got two tasks. That I’m like, Oh, cool. What were you doing? Not realizing like these tasks actually take time.

Alisha: Yeah.

Akua: You can’t solve world peace in one day. And then I feel like I haven’t been productive. So what is one thing that we as business owners can do? Like, I know obviously you’re having the, the capacity calculator come out, but like, how, what is one thing we can do to really assess our capacity?

Alisha: Oh, be honest with yourself.

So I would go through, if you, if you wanted to make it plainly, like go through your mind, Your body, I would say your physical or I’m sorry, your, your spiritual and just rate it between like one to five. Okay. If you’re, if you’re like for mental, how cluttered does my mind feel right now? If I had to sit down and write a complete paragraph, would I be able to do it?

Like, in a reasonable amount of time without feeling frustrated, without feeling blocked. Am I irritated? Am I frustrated? And just kind of like, label that, like, or rate that between one and five. If you’re coming up with all ones, you’re Then baby, your capacity is low. Negative. Negative. If you get to the physical part and you’re like, my body aches, I’m exhausted, I have a migraine constantly for the past few days, then you know going into this week you need to take it easy on yourself.

And that level of self care needs to be higher than your level of productivity in your business. Like you have to take care of yourself. And for spiritual, if you’re like, I’m just feeling like very, really hopeless. I’m not excited about anything. Okay. Then that means you really need to dig into that part of yourself this week before actually Palate on all of these tasks or, you know, to do’s that you could be, that you could be doing, but if you go into the week and you’re like, girl, I’m a five and mental five and physical five and spiritual, then go for it.

Like, go, go at it, you know, try to complete all of those big, robust tasks that you have, but. Just because you’re doing great this week doesn’t mean that you can’t, what you do this week won’t affect how you feel going into the next week. So even though you may can tackle some of those bigger tasks and you have the capacity for it, still remember you have to make rest a priority.

Like you don’t, you don’t rest only when you’re tired. Like that is something I want everyone to me to remember. Like you need to rest before you actually get to that point. So just because you do have a bigger capacity, doesn’t mean you have a little extra space to like run yourself into the ground. No, it just means you can do a couple more tasks or maybe some bigger tasks than normal, but still keep in mind that you have to take better care of yourself.

So rating those areas between one and five, and just being very honest with yourself, like you don’t have to tell anybody else if you are exhausted, you Say, I feel like I’m at a negative two right now and I’m going to take a day to do nothing and that is okay. That is okay.

Akua: Yeah. Oh my gosh. I love that. I love that.

And I will absolutely be implementing that. Yay! And I think to also not being afraid to tell people that you don’t have the capacity. I think sometimes too, like, we get really, I’m scared to do that because then we either feel like we are incompetent, we’re like not capable, like why aren’t I strong enough to do this?

And it’s like, no. I think people really do appreciate when somebody’s like, I don’t have the capacity. Like, I appreciate, you know what I mean? Like, and I think being okay communicating that as well. Number one, accepting that, being honest with yourself Yeah. No, I can’t do that right now. Yeah.

Alisha: And if they can’t respect that, is that really someone that you want to be involved with or work with?

Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Bullet dodged.

Akua: You said, I’m dodging bullets left and right. Dodging. Dodging. Dodging. Oh my gosh. I have loved this conversation so much. So much. And I think it’s so needed as a great way for us to reset as we, you know, are into the new year. And whenever we choose to really start taking action in our business, I think this is just such a great way to make sure that we, what we are building is sustainable, making sure that we as ourselves are sustainable.

And so I love that. And so for every question we love to end with is what do you think is the biggest differentiator between the businesses that succeed and the ones that fail?

Alisha: Ooh, the ones who succeed know that rest is a priority and it is a necessity and not just a luxury that you have to earn. I feel like all the best entrepreneurs probably won’t tell you that they take time to rest, but they’re prioritizing themselves, whether it’s waking up at 5 a.

m. to get a good workout in or stopping work at 5 o’clock so that they can like intentionally spend time with family. If you want to succeed, you are going to take better care of yourself.

Akua: Yes. Oh my gosh. I love that. Uh, Alicia, thank you. Thank you so much. And so for people that want to support you, definitely download that, uh, you know, the capacity calculator.

Where can we find you?

Alisha: Yes. So you can find me, um, our website, my website is doingeverydaywhale. com. Typically hanging out on Instagram and threads at doing well with Alicia. And yeah, you can find me there. Um, all of the details of like my resources and ways that you can begin to like, you know, make rest a priority will be mostly on the website.

Akua: Oh my gosh. Love that. Well, Alicia, thank you. Thank you so much for this amazing conversation and for everyone tuning in, uh, until next time. That ends our episode of the independent business podcast. Everything we’ve discussed today can be found at podcast. honeybook. com. Head to our website to access for show notes, relevant links, and all of the resources that you need to level up.

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